A day passed


I don't have much to say

I still like writing here. Last month I didn't write. I'm not sure why.

It wasn't my best month. I got some progress on things I'm working on, stabilized my sleep schedule, and made slow progress on everything. Most things are slowly moving. My life isn't fully stopped like it was 2 years ago.

I don't know how I spent that much time locked in the same routine. I think I was just waiting for things to happen to me, not feeling responsible as my parents were protective.

I mean, the things did happen. My life wasn't fully looped, time still went on and the world moved around me.

Being isolated for multiple years doesn't feel as weird as people seem to think. I don't feel like I don't belong in society or something. Well, I spend way too much time in awe of how big things are outside, but other than that I feel... normal? Sometimes people don't understand me at first try, but I'm pretty sure that's a thing that happens to everyone. Oh, last time I was super embarrassed because I never learned to use a plastic bag dispenser at the store. I'm probably getting an over-average amount of weird situations, but it's not like I'm terrified.

I don't know how I feel about being shy. It makes people treat me better, so I feel like showing it is "using" it. I also don't want to lie about it, pretend I'm more comfortable than I am. I don't like how everyone will just pretend to be perfect like it's normal. It shouldn't be.

One day a bank commercial guy called to "assist" me with my account. He knew I was young, heard that I was *not* comfortable with absolute strangers trying to sell me stuff as I wake up, and decided to go for the paternalist tone. I kept my shy tone for the rest of the call and changed bank while I still could. The new, less reputable one, never tried to pull this kind of bullshit. Now that I think of it, "You shouldn't trust banks that do everything by mail, human relations matter" just sounds like "You shouldn't trust banks that leave written traces, getting scammed is important". Like it's a bank. I don't want human relations with my bank.

With that out of the way, I hope you had a great day. And if you didn't it's fine. You can't change it anyways.