So I noticed I was barely breathing. Didn't mind at first.
Then I noticed I was feeling way too hot for the actual temperature. The air I was breathing wasn't enough. Felt weird but OK.
And now I notice my hands shaking, my abs twitching for no reason, every muscle tense and attention reallocation firing so fast I can't even think of a phrase.
6 attempts to get my password straight.
Turning the lights on or off doesn't help.
It's been a while.
Well this time I'm not hearing voices so it's much less worrying.
I think I'm meant to have emotions right now.
I'm just going to write. I know this works, it worked back then. It won't be good writing though.
May have to wait here for a bit.
I thought I had a bit of a feeling, but I'm not feeling it anymore.
I don't know what triggered this. Today was a slow day, nothing exceptionnal. I played a game without enjoying it, maybe I should've worried about it.
Oh, I don't have music. It's the first time I don't have music to listen to in years.
I'll plug those headphones the old school way.
If this is like before, the music should become unbeareable pretty quickly. If it's just music deprivation I guess it will go OK.
I still feel my thoughts through the music. On top of it. Not "with it" as it usuallly does.
It's crazy how uninteresting Gnome's wallpapers are. It's like they're aiming for a "you've seen this a thousand times but more bland" vibe.
My muscles are starting to behave normally again. Still shaking.
I don't know how long it's been, I don't think very long.
It's not the same as before. Much less intense, much shorter.
Also I started writing earlier.
My thoughts are blended with the music now. As they normally are.
I guess all I have left is worries.
Music stopped for some reason. Setting it back up.
I mean. I don't have much to say about it. Maybe the music did it, maybe it just timed out. I'd need more occurrences to know anything.
I don't think I can just go back to sleep.
Hey this time I don't have to sleep in a puddle of my own sweat. That's neat.
I have the taste of tea in my mind. Don't know why.
You know, it's not the same. I still thank you, over and over. Every week, maybe every day. I still feel it sometimes.
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...am I uploading this? Why?
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